I’m a Big Girl Now
I don’t know if you’ve ever had the same thought, but in my mind I never imagined I would be an adult in my relationship with Momma. It wasn’t that she didn’t respect me or my abilities, but I was always her “baby girl.” There is comfort in that sentiment, as I always felt cherished and safe with her. No matter how old I was, how long I’d been married, or whether or not I was a mother, I was always her child.
Maturing and becoming “independent” from parents is a healthy process, but one that most often becomes tense and stressful. Parents have a difficult time letting go, and yet some days can’t wait for the “chicks to fly.”
Daughters also feel the stress of a changing relationship.
We want to be grown up and respected as such, but we also love the comfort and security of being the kid. For as long as Momma was still alive, and even since, I’ve enjoyed being referred to as “Virginia’s daughter.”
Some of you might not have that kind of relationship with your mother or with a daughter. I am sorry; I would love to fix that for you. It’s never too late to mend an ongoing relationship and allow God to heal it. If you’re the daughter, do the right thing–today. That might mean a phone call or a visit. It probably includes asking for forgiveness. If your mom has passed, it would include intentionally remembering her best qualities and recalling a positive experience you had together.
If you are the mom, reach out in love.
You know the heart of your daughter and can speak to her in a way no one else can. Imagine her as the precious little girl she was. Make any amends necessary, no matter how it may damage your pride. If your daughter has passed, I offer my utmost condolences and pray God works His powerful healing in you every day.
I’ve had to do both: make amends with Momma after hurting her deeply, and apologize countless times to my girl. It’s all difficult, but crucial. It’s right in God’s eyes, and does wonders for the soul!
You may be asking, “What inspired you to write about this, Becky?”
Well, the recipe I chose to highlight is one I passed on to Momma many years ago after concocting it myself. When I dug it out, I read the title written in her own handwriting, “Becky Sue’s Pasta & Broccoli Salad.” What struck me is that in her ascribing my name to the dish, she considered me to be a woman and a cook worthy of a card in her recipe box.
It made me smile. I miss you, Momma!
GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME!
❤️
💕