Are You Good?

Are you good?

So many people today greet one another like this:

“Hey!”

“Hi!”

“How are you?”

“Good; you?”

“Good.”

I catch myself responding this way and then remembering that it’s incorrect; I’m a bit of a grammar snob.  (Not perfect, but snobby.)  When we answer, “Good,” we are not replying that we are well, but rather declaring something about our character.

So I ask again, are you good, and do you speak “good?”

My Momma always advised me that in raising children you need to tell them who you want them to be.  Tell your children they are good kids.

I love the conversation in the movie, “The Help,” in which the maid, Aibileen, speaks encouragement to the little girl in her charge, Mae Mobley.  She sets a habit to have the child repeat, “You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important.”  (I won’t say anymore just in case you haven’t seen the movie.)

Aibileen affirms Mae Mobley in who she is.  She establishes a foundation the little one can grow on.  She gifts her a self-image of value and respect.

It’s just what Momma taught me.

Countless times I have overheard parents and family members either speak to child or about a child with statements like:

“What a little brat you are!”

“Why did you do that, you little dummy?”

“He’s my little monster.”

I cringe.  These folks think they are being funny.  They don’t realize that children soak up EVERYTHING and cannot differentiate when an adult “jokes,” pokes fun, or criticizes their child around other adults.  Children don’t understand this as humor.  They simply soak it in.  When it is repeated over and over again, the result can be detrimental and even scarring.

Yes, we are inherently sinful beings, but that is not what I am getting at.  We all do wrong, are brats and monsters sometimes, and make many mistakes.  But, we also develop a sense of self-esteem and self-worth from what we hear, especially from those we love–especially when our brains try to make sense of all it takes in.

Children believe their parents.

Children soak up what parents say as truth.

Be careful!

Ladies, just like Aibileen wanted to break a cycle of emotional abuse with little Mae Mobley, we can make a difference in the lives of the children we influence.  No matter whether you are a mom, grandmother, aunt, teacher, or neighbor, we can make a difference.  We must speak truth into the lives of “our” children.

I love to do so when I’m out in public.  I have a captive audience when I’m in the checkout line at the grocery store.  I try to catch the attention of the mother or child and illicit a smile back from the child.  I speak kind words to the little one, and try to find a way to compliment the mother for doing a good job at parenting.

I like to think that the child will be a bit happier sitting in the cart, and that the mom will walk away feeling a little better about who she is and more confident in the important job she is doing.

Our words matter.  Our words last.

Speak “good.”

GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME!

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